Of all the stars to be pregnant at the same time I am, did it have to be Halle Berry? Even Julia Roberts would have been easier – megawatt smile aside, Julia sometimes looks delightfully frumpy in candids at the grocery store.
Not Halle. There she is in her Roberto Cavalli halter style dress – outshining a non-pregnant girl in the same frock, according to the UsWeekly reader poll (Admittedly, I agreed). Last week, in a People magazine feature on pregnancy style, Halle was declared "The Hottie." Signature pieces: Curve hugging dresses, thin knits, chunky jewelry. That description sounds reasonable enough, until you see them on her.
Knocked up or not, there’s no reason for the rest of us even to try.
The headline on this particular article read "Elastic waist slacks? Never!" And I happened to see it shortly after returning from the mall with my first pair of maternity pants. Elastic waist. Let’s call them "stretchy" instead. At least they don’t have the panel over the belly – I’m having enough itchy stomach issues without adding fabric to the situation. They’re charcoal gray fine wale cords, skinny through the leg (Finally! Some non-boxy maternity pants!) with a flare at the bottom. I found them on sale for $29.99 at GapMaternity. There was a little flaw in the fabric at the knee, so I scored an extra 20 percent off.
Don’t misunderstand, Halle – like you, I can still button my jeans (so, it’s the AGs I bought a size too large, not the skinny Hudsons, but we don’t need to talk about that, or the fact that they sit so low anyone behind me is in danger of being mooned). But I see the writing on the wall. At 21 weeks, the growing has only just begun. Hot Halle, preggers for the first time, doesn’t know that. She was quoted saying she doesn’t think she’ll need maternity clothes until her final month. We’ll see. Even with a bod like hers – or actually, because of it, that baby has nowhere to grow but out. Faster than you can fathom, that "cute" bump becomes plain ol’ big. And even the trendy, flowy tops and dresses stop looking so flowy on a swollen middle.
I’ll be watching, Halle. From the comfort of my chic enough elastic waist cords. And don’t even think about copying – I nabbed the last pair.
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